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Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
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Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
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Unfiled November 13, 2002
A Pond In Kharkov
By Edward Limonov Browse author
Page 2 of 2
If I had the chance to go to the shore of that miserable pond now, it would seem to me a petty, nasty, plain, pitiful undersized Russian reservoir. But when you haven't grown up yet and stand next to your father, only as tall as his chest, then the whole amphitheater, the pond swarming with sunbathers, seems glorious. The water pouring from the green pipe, the birds and people shouting. It's odd, but only now, after a half-century of turbulent life, have I found my place. If it weren't for me, who the hell in all of Russia would notice that miserable pond? Two-thirds of the people who were pissing in its water, mating in the nearby bushes, flirting, sweating, screwing drunk on the grass, stealing pants and sheets from their neighbors are dead. No, not just two-thirds--three-quarters or four-fifths! All the young girls who dipped their thighs, chests and pussies into the water swarming with little fish--some are dead, rotting in their graves, and those who are still alive are bloated toads. Confront your fate, I shout at this old nation: fuck all your mothers anway--who are you? None of you matter any more than the little fish in that stagnant pond, as you float down the sewer of life. Only the strange boy in the bathing suit who is looking at you counts. And to make sure he notices you, lift up your gaze from the fish, tritons and tadpoles. If he doesn't notice you, then you don't exist.
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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

War Nerd Summer Reading Guide
The War Nerd By Gary Brecher
It’s summer, you’ve got a little more time off, so you can read up on war instead of trying to live in whatever boring suburb you live in. Lawns, neighbors, dogs, kids—it all sucks and the best thing you can do is get as far out of it as you can.


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