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 For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
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| The War Nerd |
February 20, 2003 |
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Algeria: The Psychos Will Inherit the Earth
By Gary Brecher
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Not everybody approved of the GIA. The Islamists who weren't completely out of their little minds started trying to isolate the GIA. Some formed a new group called the Salafist Group for Preaching and Combat (you gotta love that name!) which tried to be "good" guerrillas, sticking to military targets and not killing civilians unnecessarily. Meanwhile the AIS, the first and biggest Islamic guerrilla group, made a deal with the government in 1999. They got amnesty and agreed to help hunt down the crazies in the GIA. It looked like things were looking up for Algeria-for a while. But lately it all seems to be melting down. The GIA is still around. The Salafists are hunkered down in the mountains waiting to meet the Army head-on. And the Berbers are getting sick of having their favorite musicians blown away for the crime of singing. (Apparently Allah hates singers. Maybe we could pay the GIA to come over and whack Eminem.)
The poor Berbers. They're really the only people you can sympathize with in the whole sick country. It's like they're the only sane person in a family full of Chainsaw Massacre types. So they're the freaks, because they want to drink wine and sing and take it easy. They're the "evil" un-Islamic ones, because they're not as crazy as the Algerian Arabs. The sad thing is, they'll probably never be able to kill as well as the Islamists. You can't act as crazy as a really crazy person, no matter how hard you try. And the Berbers are just too sane for Algeria. They'll be stomped every time. So whoever said that the meek are going to inherit the earth was dead wrong. If you want an "angle" or a "moral" from Algeria, here's an honest one: the psychos are going to inherit everything.
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| FROM THE VAULT |
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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.
Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."
Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.
Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.
Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.
The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.
Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.
13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...
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