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The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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Feature Story December 25, 2003
What a Laugh!
The eXile Looks Back on 2003, The Funniest Year Yet!
Page 14 of 17
The Joke: When Yelstin and his Young Reformers went down in ignominy in 1998, so did the fortunes of their top American academic cheerleader, Michael McFaul. That was funny, but it seemed like a one-off joke that couldn't be revived. Welp, we was wrong. McFaul made a massive comeback earlier this month when he became the Western Press's leading quote-o-matic. Once a Clintonite optimist, McFaul now bows to a new, hard, warlike master in George W. Bush, and therefore he has remade himself as an anti-Russian crusader. Now that IS funny.

Sad Clown factor: McFaul helped cover up Yelstin-era crimes that led to death and poverty for millions of Russians. Today, he's trying to help isolate Russia on behalf of an administration that is causing death and impoverishment to millions.

Side-Splitting Score: Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown

39. Gingrich Prays for WMDs

The Joke: Back in April, the Right was still sure there'd be WMDs -- so sure, in fact, that Newt Gingrich actually said on the air that he couldn't wait for Saddam to use them on American troops. That's right: on March 25, Newt said on CNN, "When we get to Baghdad and the Iraqis use the WMDs, then what will the French say?" His delivery was just as funny as the line itself: Newt had that chipmunk smirk on, and was beaming at the thought of American troops being maimed by terror weapons. That's patriotism. That's comedy.

Sad Clown factor: Unfortunately for Newt, no WMDs were used on American troops, depriving him of the chance to point his finger tauntingly at France.

Side-Split Score: Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown

40. Chechen Presidential Elections

The Joke: Helsinki Watch called October's presidential elections in Chechnya "a farce," and who are we to disagree? Farces is what we likes! It was high comedy as every single possible opponent to the Kremlin's hand-picked candidate was struck off the list, murdered or driven out of the CIS in the run-up to the elections. The punchline came when Akhmad Kadyrov won a stunning and overwhelming victory with 85% voter turnout, proving that genocide is a vote-winner among Chechens.

Sad Clown factor: The EU and the Bush Administration still can't decide whether or not the genocide in Chechnya is a sad thing or something that's best not brought up at the dinner table, and their month-by-month waffling is itself a sad thing to behold.

Side-Split Score: Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown

42. "Bring'em on!"

The Joke: Like they say, it's all a matter of timing. Just as attacks on US troops in Iraq started getting bloodier and bigger, the President strutted into a DC pressroom surrounded by a phalanx of bodyguards and invited the world to "bring [it] on" against his nation's soldiers.

Sad Clown factor: They brought it on. When Bush made his speech, only 26 GIs had been killed in guerrilla attacks. That number is now well over 200.

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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