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Sad Clown factor: meanwhile, the population of China hit 1.25 billion people and dozens of Asian mammals became extinct.

Side-Split Score:

15. The Euro

The Joke: The Euro seemed like a joke, the declining currency of an eternally-declining Europe. Not long ago, it was worth less than 85 cents to the dollar. Then George W. Bush's policies started kicking in, America's economy tanked and its war machine ground into a quagmire, and now the dollar has crashed so far against the Euro (it takes $1.25 to buy a Euro) that the greenback looks more like the ruble. The ruble? Ha! America should be so lucky! Even the ruble has appreciated against the dollar! "Take my dollar, please!"

Sad Clown factor: Unfortunately for Europe, the strength of the Euro only means further economic stagnation, higher unemployment, and more impossible-to-sell overpriced goods from EU countries, so that les Europeens sont tres tristes...et pauvres. Also, 98% of Americans are too afraid to travel, so they don't even know that their dollar has collapsed, and don't care anyway.

16. Less is Moore

The Joke: The Academy Awards turned into America's Funniest Home Videos when Michael Moore won "Best Documentary" for Bowling for Columbine. Having just awarded Moore its highest honor for making a daring political statement, the crowd started booing loudly when Moore tried to make a statement against the Iraq war in his acceptance speech. They were all for him being daring and political, but not now, damn it! Not when people's careers are on the line! The same crowd that sat through dozens of long speeches punctuated by fake tears was suddenly enraged by Moore's 100-word denunciation of the Iraq war. Even the band got into the act, striking up its loudest tune to drown Moore out. If that bit of limousine liberal hypocrisy and cowardice wasn't funny enough, then consider America's feature writers, who drew exactly the wrong lesson from this strange moment. They concluded that a patriotic crowd objected to antiwar comments. Not at all. In fact, the Hollywood crowd is uniformly liberal. They just didn't want anyone to know it at the time.

Sad Clown factor: Here's chirpy E Online to tell what happened next: "[Steve] Martin saved the moment from turning ugly, quipping: 'It was so sweet backstage. The Teamsters are helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo.' The comedian's deft sense of humor in dealing with the difficult times inside and outside the auditorium got good feedback."

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