Mankind's only alternative 6   DEC.   21  
Mankind's only alternative

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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Feature Story April 29, 2004
50 Reasons Why Russia Still Matters
Page 6 of 6
Where else can you get Communism, a cave and a real live corpse in one single tourist attraction? Lenin's tomb is one of the last serious places in a sickeningly cutesy, pastel world. If you want to find out just how serious a place it is, just try talking in the line down to the mummy and see how the guards react. And the sheer suspense of seeing how long the embalmers and cosmeticists can keep that thing looking vaguely humanoid makes Lenin's tomb a holy place for drag queens and make-up experts the world over!

46. Das Germans

The poor Germans -- it's been so long since anybody said anything nice to them. Then along came Putin, who speaks fluent German. They were so delighted! After all, even most Germans under 40 can't speak fluent German any more. It's the dying language of a dying nation, but thanks to Putin the last Germans can have a moment of pleasure, hearing the forgotten sounds of their old tongue from the leader of the country that destroyed them.

47. Potential Tatu copycats

Do we really need to elaborate on this one? Do we, really?

48. Kaspersky Labs

How else are you going to protect against computer viruses? Sure there's Norton, but they make you pay for updates. And besides, Russian programmers usually crack new viruses first. More importantly, it's a company that will eventually be fodder for a Thomas Friedman column.

49. The Ilyushin-76

These giant forest-fire-fighting planes can hold 11,000 gallons... that's over 4 times more water than any other firefighting aircraft. That's enough to put out a four-acre blaze in one run. Or enough to cover an entire stadium full of Promise Keepers with dog semen. Whatever. The point is, they're sure to come in handy when global warming turns even the once lush Pacific Northwest into a tinderbox.

50. London real estate

At printing, there were several London properties on the market at over 10 million pounds a pop. You can count on the odd Indian tycoon to snap one up every once in a while, but even real estate agents who rent flats in Brixton by the week know that nobody's easier to overcharge than a rich Russian. With the proceeds earned from the sales of ancestral estates, England's aristocracy can go on frittering away their inheritances for a whole 'nother generation.

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Travel Guide
The Exile’s 2008 Happy Planet Guide To Moscow :

Lord of the Swine : Censorship in Russia: Revenge of the Disenfranchised
Afghan Gore
Afghan Warfare Just Got Real : Our man in Afghanistan loses two friends

Through Black Glasses (Limonov on Russia) :


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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