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Feature Story December 24, 2004
EXILE magazine's Person of the Year
When Mini Means Maximum Success
Page 3 of 3
"I don't really like to compare myself to Sir Brown or the others," Minibayev said. "I just try to get the job done. It's about results. You saw what I was able to do on Sunday. That is the kind of thing we plan to replicate, but on a global scale." How? "Sadly, I believe that some oil tycoons will develop large pustules on their faces, and one or two may even vomit up a milky substance. Someone will need to manage their assets, and I believe that I have proven I have the goods."

As Minibayev turned onto his back, we whacked him thoroughly with the birch branches, causing him to groan ecstatically. "You can feel it in your circulation. It's good for the heart, you know, and intensifies concentration. Don't be shy about it! Beat me harder, the BaiFaG way!"

With a triumphant present, and a highly uncertain future, you would think that Minibayev would be nervous. But he wasn't. Minibayev has overcome odds before -- namely, in Sunday's auction against Gazprom. "I believe that we are ultimately ruled by a Higher Authority, which decides our fate. And that Higher Authority, which goes by the earthly name of Vladimir Putin, will decide that fate. If it is His will that I find the financing to complete the purchase, then His will be done. If not, then I will probably develop large pustules on my face."

For proving the pundits wrong, for propelling himself like a modern-day Horatio Alger from the dull administrative section to world of international oil, for playing his role in gambling Russia's future, then skillfully ducking from it and not answering his phone, Igor Minibayev, Mister BaiFaG, is EXILE's 2004 Man of the Year.
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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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