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Unfiled August 24, 2007
eXile word of the day

This latest addition to the eXile lexicon is so fresh it's barely even on the streets yet. The term, pension (pronounced "pen-see-on") is closely related to the term sponsor, but with a little Putin Pride twist. According to a 17-year-old MGU student named Olga that Yasha is dating, privileged middle/upper class Moscow chicks no longer think it's cool to have a sponsor. For them, screwing a guy in order to get him to spend money on you is passe. They're now so middle-class that they think sleeping with a dude for goods is demeaning. "Besides, anyone can do that," Olga and her friends say. "It's much more challenging if you don't fuck them."

That's where a pension comes in.

pension (pronounced "pen-see-on")
  1. A young Russian male, typically a student between the ages of 15 to 21, who is manipulated by a young Russian sterva into a fruitless courtship that will never lead to sex. A pension is expected treat a young sterva to as much weed as she and her friends demand; he must allow the girl and her friends to hang out with him at his parents' house for as long as they want; if he has a car, he is obligated to drive her to and from school, as well as to clubs and any other destination of her choosing.
  2. A pension is not allowed any intimate contact with the young sterva unless she notices that he is beginning to lose interest. In such a case, she will allow him to brush up against her knee, or if the situation is dire, put his arm around her. Kissing and petting is strictly prohibited.
  3. For a pension to be considered a full-blown pension, a girl has to have more than one such young man simultaneously.
  4. The plural of pension is pensiony.
  5. A girl's pension status increases if she can introduce her pension to her real boyfriend (who must be much older), and still keep the pension in active rotation.
  6. Once a pension has sexual relations with the girl he is courting, he is no longer considered a true pension. The girl is considered a failure and silly.

  1. French, meaning "boarding house." In Russian, it is used to denote a hotel or any other place of rest.

    Two typical conversations between two Russian girls employing the word pension:

  1. Girl A: "What are you doing right now?"
    Girl B: "Nothing. I'm at my pension. I can't believe how lame he is. I'm really bored."
    Girl A: "How are you?"
    Girl B: "Can you believe it, I was with my boyfriend and I ran into my pension at the Manezh."
  2. A: "Which one?
    B: "The one from my Biology class."
    A: "Was he mad?"
    B: "Yes, but not really. I'm with him right now. We got high and I let him put his hand around my shoulder while we were watching TV at his house, so he forgave me."
    A: "God, your pension is soooo stupid!"
    B: "I know."
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