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 For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog
 The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog
 A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog
 If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control
 Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control
 Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control
 The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control
 We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control
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Mark Ames184 ARTICLES
 May 14, 2008 The Clanfather: Meet The New Boss Editorial
After the Great Russian Shakeup this past Monday, pundits and analysts added up the personnel scores in the Clan War tournament, and came to pretty much the same happy conclusions: the "liberals" won out; the siloviki lost; the Clan War that characterized the last couple of years of Putin’s power is essentially over. Well, it ain't that simple.
 May 1, 2008 The Old Man And The Suka Restaurant Review
Our recent experience with Hemingway's restaurant proves that Russia is booming, business is far more civilized, and "Russian management takeover" in the Putin era is a synonym for "progressive management.
 April 11, 2008 And The Wall Carpets Come Tumbling Down Feature Story
Last summer, The eXile took a safari journey in search of the legendary Gopniki, Russia’s underworld answer to the OGs of South Central, Long Beach, and the Bronx. his issue, we once again find ourselves sounding the funeral bell for another great Russian tradition: the Wall Carpet.
 February 6, 2008 The Triumph of Hope Over Experience: Hillary vs. Obama America
It's six in the morning Moscow, Russia time, and I've just finished watching the Democratic debate on my laptop. I thought I'd share with my fellow Americans one humble expatriate's opinion on the most important election since...
 February 1, 2008 Girls of the 5th Duma: Babeage Wins Russia
Ever wonder how Russia's female politicians compare in hotness to their American counterparts? Our stripped-down comparison chart leaves nothing to the imagination.
 January 14, 2008 Culinary Nirvana At Tibet Restaurant Restaurant Review
Long one of our favorite downtown eateries, Tibet Kitchen recently brought in eXpat hero Doug Steele for a makeover, and folks, the results are out of this world.
 December 4, 2007 My Day Of Killing Biblically Book Review
Starting this issue, we're going to rewrite the bestsellers, improving them to the point where they actually make some sense to right-thinking folks like us.
 September 29, 2007 Concert Review: Iggy and the Stooges Club Review
As I stood in the VIP balcony watching Iggy Pop storm onto the stage, leaping, twisting and limping like a wounded and dangerous pit bull (or in Iggian terms, "a street-walking cheetah with a hide full of napalm"), I thought to myself, "Goddamnit, I really have been lied to!"
 September 11, 2007 The Economist: The World’s Sleaziest Magazine Feature Story
The Economist is waging an obsessive campaign to rebrand Putin's Russia as a Fascist state. As Mark Ames shows, this grossly overrated magazine has been, is, and always will be wrong about every single subject it puts its slime-soaked fingers on.
May 18, 2007 Burn, Baltics, Burn! Unfiled
A riot was narrowly averted in Riga at the May 9 Victory Day celebration, but a larger shift in Russia's relations with the West is underway...
May 4, 2007 Virginia Tech Foretold Unfiled
Of all the schoolyard rampage massacres and massacre plots over the past 10 years, one stands out to me as
 April 20, 2007 Russian Protests: The Deleted Scenes Feature Story
Mark Ames explains why last weekend's protests are such a genuine threat to the Kremlin...and why Gary Kasparov's ties to the worst of America's neo-con goons is a threat to Russia's protest movement...
March 23, 2007 Gentlemen's Food Restaurant Review
I'm a GQ man. As more cultured readers know, I've had a regular column in the Russian edition of GQ for nearly three
 February 23, 2007 The Asscademy Awards! Feature Story
The eXile is proud to present the 2007 Asscademy Awards ceremony, in which we honor the top talents in the Long War On Terror!...Hosted by Ellen DeGeneres!...
 February 8, 2007 Let’s Hate Brazil! Feature Story
Hey, all you Russia-haters! We at the eXile have a much better country for you to hate. It's got all the human rights abuses times 10 of Russia, but it's also got benefits that hating Russia doesn't offer...
January 26, 2007 Columbine Death Threat Unfiled
Most people woke up on January 1st with a hangover. I woke up to a death threat, sent to me by the Columbine
December 15, 2006 Preview Reviews Kino Korner
Mark Ames reviews the movie trailers for two upcoming US releases...
November 3, 2006 The Coming Republican Party Shocker Unfiled
Guess what? Here's a column that makes me look like I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, and I'm a-gonna flaunt my failure in your faces! Ah-hah-hah-hah!
October 20, 2006 Where Is America’s Politkovskaya? Press Review
The murder of Anna Politkovskaya set off another wave of pious, insane denunciations by the Western media, proving only that they learned nothing at all from her example...
October 6, 2006 Here’s The Beef! Restaurant Review
Normally I don't like putting my name on reviews. But in the case of DOUG'S STEAKHOUSE, I feel duty-bound, as a
 October 6, 2006 Who’s Your Daddy? Feature Story
Nepotism, Putin-style: what sort of job do you offer the sons of the Kremlin elite? Gee, that's a tough one...
 September 22, 2006 America’s Pathetic Putin-Envy Feature Story
Bush's America has gone from the world's bitch-slappers to the world's bitch-niggaz. That means that even resurgent Russia is causing Americans a serious case of Putin-Envy. Jealous of Russia? God help us all...
June 16, 2006 Why You’re Fucked Unfiled
"Financial panics are to me what endangered mammal horns are to Chinese men: pure Viagra placebo." What's behind the latest financial crashes, and why you should be shitting bricks...
April 21, 2006 Columbine's Most Wanted Unfiled
For the 7th anniversary of the Columbine massacre, we're putting one of the jock assholes who tortured Klebold and Harris on our Most Wanted List...and you can help bring him to justice...
March 24, 2006 Bush League Unfiled
Mark Ames explains why the eXile's search for an annoying pro-Bush columnist was such a colossal failure...
March 7, 2006 Prime Time Robbery Moscow Babylon
I was robbed last week. What happened was I went into a "Prime" sandwich shop on Ulitsa Maroseika to get some lunch.
 February 10, 2006 Nine Years, Nine Whores, Nine Hours Feature Story
It's the eXile's 9th anniversary issue. To celebrate it, editor Mark Ames puts himself through the 9 circles of Whore Hell...
January 27, 2006 The HIV Torture Test Moscow Babylon
The harrowing tale of taking a mandatory HIV test in a rundown Tenderloin clinic...
December 28, 2005 Freedom’s Just Another Word For Fascism Unfiled
EXILE ALERT! SEE AMES READ "GOING POSTAL" AT MODERN TIMES BOOKSTORE IN SAN FRANCISCO, THURSDAY JANUARY 5 AT 7:30PM!... In this issue, Mark Ames looks at Freedom House and smokes out the neocon con-game...
 December 15, 2005 DOOM-A Feature Story
If you want a better understanding of Russia's "Virtual Democracy," then forget the facile "democracy in decline" frame pushed by the West and read "Virtual Politics," a romp through the dark cynicism, comedy and savagery of Russian politics...A deeply fl
November 4, 2005 The MT Confidence Game Unfiled
Why did the Moscow Times bury the big story on Transparency International's report on Russia's worsening corruption? Because according to the MT Confidence Index, everything is getting better and better...
 November 4, 2005 Going Postal Feature Story
Ames' new book, "Going Postal," is finally out! Read these two excerpts, or go see him read at Junno's in Manhattan on Tuesday, November 8th...
October 21, 2005 Caligula in Kaluga Whore-R Stories
It was about 10pm Kaluga-time when they knocked on our hotel door. Andrei opened it and announced with a big smile,
 September 23, 2005 Masha 4-Everyone Feature Story
A whore-r experiment: the eXile's intrepid john sees what happens when he buys a prostitute and shows her the anti-sex-trafficking film "Lilya 4-Ever"...
September 9, 2005 Bullshit Rising Unfiled
Mark Ames looks at the Washington Post's newest propaganda project, "Kremlin Rising," a sleazy book which seeks to reimpose the long-discredited frame dividing Russia between good "free-market liberals" and evil "all other Russians"
September 9, 2005 FHM: Forgot His Mojo Unfiled
Ames describes his hapless adventures touring with FHM Magazine on their "Girls Nextdoor" Tour...
 July 28, 2005 Freaky Iraqis Feature Story
How many Iraqis are trained up and ready to take over from the Americans? That number depends on how gullible - or high - you are. The eXile subjects a beer-drinking real estate agent to the whacky ups and downs of the Iraqi forces...
July 28, 2005 Spam! Bam! Thank You Vardan! Death Porn
"He liked to fuck whores in the ass, and not wear a condom, and then brag about it..." The incredibly sordid truth behind the bludgeoning death of Russia's spam villain...
 June 17, 2005 The Propaganda About Propaganda Feature Story
Despite all the whining and sneering about the Kremlin's new 24-hour CNN-style project, the fact is that Putin is merely playing catch-up with Bush's propaganda efforts...and he's got a long, long way to go...
 June 3, 2005 The Black-Gold’n Horde Feature Story
How and why America and the West are working to keep Russia weak...
May 20, 2005 The Sorrows of Young Vera Whore-R Stories
On the eve of the celebration of the victory over the Nazis, I felt duty-bound to find myself a whore with
 April 22, 2005 Mr. DeLay Goes to Moscow Feature Story
Whore-R stories from embattled Republican leader Tom DeLay's diaries! An eXile eXclusive!
April 8, 2005 Murphy’s Law Strikes Pulitzer Again Press Review
Mark Ames details Kim Murphy's meteoric rise from one-time Holocaust denier to recent Pulitzer Prize winner who nearly murdered a survivor of Beslan just to get on a popular daytime TV show...
 March 25, 2005 The Viagra Challenge Feature Story
Editor Mark Ames test drives the three leading erectile dysfunction pills in the most rugged and brutal circumstances imaginable...read on, and keep a vomit bag handy!...
 March 11, 2005 Dubleya Standards Feature Story
When a Russian "journalist" asked Bush and Putin about censorship in the U.S. where journalists are fired for angering the government, Americans collectively sneered. And yet, the Russian tool was right...
March 11, 2005 The Mesto in Saigon Unfiled
As a counter to O!Chen, I would like to offer a few words about an entirely different and highly positive
March 11, 2005 Paddy O'Chen! Restaurant Review
Peter Arenseberg is not with us this issue, as he's been spending more and more time at a secluded abbey/wine cellar in
 February 25, 2005 The Man Who Would Be Orange Feature Story
Mark Ames heads to the squalor and mud of rural Moldova on the campaign trail with would-be "orange" candidate Iuri Rosca.
February 11, 2005 Million Dollar Bee-Yatch Kino Korner
MILLION DOLLAR BABY VS. NAPOLEON DYNAMITE I spoke to my mother on the phone the other day, and she told me
January 27, 2005 Playing With The Pensioners Unfiled
Liberal Westerners' newfound sympathy for long-suffering Russian pensioners proves one thing: Westerners want to kill them off, and they won't forgive Putin for getting to them first...
January 27, 2005 Finn-ito La Comedia Unfiled
The zany story of how the Washington Post's new correspondent, Peter Finn, helped sell a Pentagon-planted story about an Iraqi "victim" just in time to help shore up support for the war...
December 10, 2004 The Southeast Autonomous Whore Whore-R Stories
Lola, my whore, came from Severodonetsk, a toxic dump in the Lugansk oblast, the Russified east of
November 13, 2004 Gas Middle America Moscow Babylon
Mark Ames has the solution to the Red-State/Blue-State electoral divide in America. But it ain't perty...
September 17, 2004 The Sixth Crusades Whore-R Stories
A couple of weeks ago I moved from one apartment to another. For 100 bucks I got a GAZel truck and two movers, a middle-aged Georgian and a young, aggressive Uzbek, who constantly yelled at his weary
September 4, 2004 Walk on the Suburban Side Unfiled
The people who grow up in New York own the airwaves and printing presses, but it's the provincials whose lives provide the really rich material
July 22, 2004 Double Punk'd! Meta-Prank Goes Mega-Bad Feature Story
<span style="font-weight: bold; padding: 1px; color: red; background: yellow;">SPECIAL UPDATE!</span> You know that whole <a href="/194/we_dunnit.html">"prank" we supposedly played</a> on Kremlin envoy Sergei Kiriyenko? I'll just give it to you straight
 July 8, 2004 Backstabbers! Feature Story
For years now, America's Leftists have been flogging themselves to death wondering why it is that they remain so weak and disenfranchised
July 8, 2004 Double Punk'd! Meta-Prank Goes Mega-Bad Unfiled
<span style="font-weight: bold; padding: 1px; color: red; background: yellow;">SPECIAL UPDATE!</span> You know that whole <a href="/194/we_dunnit.html">"prank" we supposedly played</a> on Kremlin envoy Sergei Kiriyenko? I'll just give it to you straight
June 24, 2004 Ode to the Dolphins Letter from America
I have finally discovered what price peace. This is it, on the cliffs of Point Dume overlooking the Pacific Ocean.
May 27, 2004 Embrace The Pain Letter from America
My evil Mexican-American friend Ricky Ramirez developed a philosophy that has helped him survive in America. He calls his program "Embrace The Pain."
May 27, 2004 Homer-otic Dick-Flick Falls Limp Kino Korner
The opening of TROY was greeted by the Beigeocracy with a sort of sneering competition the likes I haven't seen since the release of...Van Helsing.
May 13, 2004 Baseball, Apple Pie and Torture: The American Way Letter from America
America's compound psychological fractures and bizarre fantasies have exploded. The most sickening of these is the collective flagellation and finger-pointing over the torture in Abu Ghraib prison in Baghdad
April 29, 2004 A Binge Too Far Letter from America
I'm living in the paradigmatic inverse of Moscow right now, and you people can eat my butt-sand...
 April 22, 2004 Lord of the Swine Feature Story
I have just discovered why nearly 80% of Russians support censorship of the free press. The reason is Elena Tregubova.
April 16, 2004 Put That Peter Away Kino Korner
PETER PAN... THE PASSION... SECRET WINDOW... BROTHER BEAR...
April 16, 2004 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Bush Letter from America
Ever since arriving in the US, I have had to fend off accusations that I was somehow involved in the death of the BBC's Alistair Cooke
April 5, 2004 The Tract-Home of Darkness Letter from America
I'm in Santee for three days now. I'm waiting for another soul-destroying glimpse at dead-end suburbia – getting more scared.
April 5, 2004 Sofia's A Bad Choice Kino Korner
Lost in Translation is truly the dumbest and most pretentious movie I have seen in at least a year...
April 1, 2004 Poison Grows In Stiller's Water Kino Korner
I shoulda known better than to allow the pirate copy of Along Came Polly to infect my on-loan DVD player...
March 18, 2004 Whip It Good Kino Korner
THE PASSION didn't make me want to kill any Jews, as promised. It just put me to sleep
 March 4, 2004 The Ugly Truth Feature Story
Moscow's girls have become uglier, and are getting increasingly ugly every year. If Moscow is no longer a haven of lust, then what is the point of living here?
March 4, 2004 The Coal Miner's Daughter Whore-R Stories
So rather than write, I hooked onto www.vipdosug.ru and found myself a whore. Her name was listed as "Lara"...
March 4, 2004 The Monster Mash Kino Korner
There is a new trend I'm noticing in Hollywood - the fake independent film, the gentrification of indy movies.
February 19, 2004 Mile High Jesus Letter from America
In US airports, Americans stop pretending about how terrified they are -- they just act terrified and that's that.
February 19, 2004 Bring Back Sherman! Kino Korner
Fuck the Confederates. That's what I was muttering to myself as I sat alone in the Los Gatos Theater from the opening scene of COLD MOUNTAIN...
December 25, 2003 Another Year of Holocausts Kino Korner
I’m going to give you a very brief synopsis of some of the newest movies to hit Moscow...
December 12, 2003 Spooning With The Friedmans Kino Korner
This is just about the most fucked up movie I’ve seen in a long time, and I’m amazed that it’s available at Gorbushka on DVD...
December 12, 2003 How do you spell Hypocrisy? O-S-C-E Unfiled
First, let’s go back to the presidential elections in 2000, which Putin "won" in the first round with over 50% of the vote...
November 25, 2003 Kill Quentin, Kick Coens Kino Korner
Kill Bill is just stupid. What happened to Quentin Tarantino? Did the gods punish him?
 November 13, 2003 Georgia in the Crunch Feature Story
If you want to understand what’s going on in Georgia, then you need to pull the camera back...
November 13, 2003 Revolution No. Swine Kino Korner
This depressing, spare Russian drama won some kind of award at the Venice film festival this year, so I figured it was worth a pirate...
October 28, 2003 A Flathead Odyssey Kino Korner
Bimmer is one of the finest post-Soviet B-movies that I’ve seen, better even than, say, the Brat/Brat-2 films...
October 16, 2003 Bad Movie Too Kino Korner
One of the advantages of seeing movies in Russian theaters is that Russians will generally laugh at nearly every horrible thing they see in a foreign movie...
October 16, 2003 Your Letters [SIC!]
CUM TO [sic]-HEAD... WHORE-R DUNDEE... UNION JERK... WAR IS HECK... VIVA LA VICHY... SORRY MARKIE...
October 2, 2003 A Harlot High and Low… and Lower Moscow Babylon
Will Ames rescue the ho with the heart of gold? Or are ho's just regular folks like you and me, working a bum job?
October 2, 2003 Pirates Not Dead Kino Korner
It’s been a scary month for Moscow cinephiles. All the downtown kiosks which used to sell pirate flicks have gone out of business...
September 18, 2003 God Is Still Dead Kino Korner
There is a whole genre of middle-aged white male Hollywood producer fantasies. Most are filtered through crime movies...
September 4, 2003 Whore-R Movie Madness! Whore-R Stories
I've decided to do something different this issue. A whore-r movie review featuring a whore movie critic critiquing a whore-r film.
August 24, 2003 Whore TV Whore-R Stories
Three months ago, I got a call from NTV about their New York correspondent wanting do a feature on me and the eXile...
July 10, 2003 Russia Thaws Unfiled
Russia is back. The Russia of the 1990s, that is...
July 10, 2003 Faginator 3: Arnold Plates America Kino Korner
It’s now 2003. Arnold Schwarzenegger has not done a single good movie since Terminator, with the possible exception of Total Recall...
 June 26, 2003 Elite versus Elitny Feature Story
As Russians strive to become elitny, America’s oligarchs live in denial about their elitism. Why are they still in the elitist closet?
June 12, 2003 The Squint that Stalks Me Kino Korner
THE RECRUIT is so boring, cliched and full of lies that it can only mean one thing: it was financed by Al Qaeda...
May 29, 2003 White Nuts Unfiled
the eXile’s sales manager and I were in St. Petersburg last weekend to scout out the possibility of opening a new eXile there...
May 29, 2003 The Matrix: Retarded Kino Korner
This is an excruciatingly slow, dumb, boring movie with yawner combat scenes, laughable characters and cheesy computer special effects...
May 29, 2003 The Reluctant John Whore-R Stories
Most of the whores I rented worked in apartments in the Taganskaya or Serpukhovskaya Metro areas...
May 3, 2003 The Gki Archipelago Unfiled
Between 1989, the last time a census was taken in Russia, and 2002, the most recent census, “Russia lost 7.4 million people.”
May 3, 2003 Beware Of Polanski’s Penist Kino Korner
If you’re an English-speaking movie buff stuck in Moscow during the May holidays, you will be punished...
April 17, 2003 Behind Enemy Lines Unfiled
To my knowledge, not one single American journalist had the guts to go into the enemy’s bowels, once the war started.
April 17, 2003 The 24-Hour Party Pidars Kino Korner
24 Hour Party People... Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind... Final Destination 2...
April 6, 2003 Hours Lacks Hot Chicks Kino Korner
If you must go to the local theaters, then I have to review the movies they’re showing...
March 20, 2003 Gangs Of Shite Kino Korner
This kino korner is my first chance to comment on the Academy Awards ceremony this coming Sunday...
March 3, 2003 Oligarchs DP Moscow Times Press Review
The Moscow Times announced that a 35% stake in its parent company Independent Media had been passed from one oligarch to the next...
February 20, 2003 One Of Us Is Wrong Kino Korner
I’ve never gone out on a limb or exposed my hard-earned reputation to such total destruction as I will this issue.
February 6, 2003 Your Mother Is A Slut Kino Korner
Catch Me If You Can... White Oleander... Frida... Ken Park...
December 25, 2002 Hate Thy Neighbor As Thyself Book Review
To commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ Your Lord, Mark Ames reviews The Bible...
December 11, 2002 Die Now, Not Another Day! Kino Korner
Two eminently loathsome movies in one-on-one competition as to which gender is more shallow, loathsome and serial-murder inspiring.
November 27, 2002 Who Killed Tsvetkov? Unfiled
Last week, I picked up a copy of Sovershenno Sekretno. The most dangerous article deals with the murder of Magadan governor Valentin Tsvetkov.
November 13, 2002 Quaker Cuts Off Our Johnson Unfiled
The eXile has been censored by David Johnson, a squeamish Quaker who runs the once-highly-influential Johnson’s Russia List...
November 13, 2002 This Movie Needs Raid Kino Korner
Once again it’s past deadline and I’m just starting the kino review. I know you’re sick of me starting every kino review off this way but this time it’s bad, really bad...
October 31, 2002 The Road To Turdition Kino Korner
Of course any film with Tom Hanks in it should automatically qualify for a nerve gas agent icon...
 October 17, 2002 I Fought The Law: Edward Limonov on Trial Feature Story
Live from the trial of eXile writer and National-Bolshevik leader Edward Limonov, the biggest and most ignored political trial of the Putin-era...
October 17, 2002 Chemoterapy Chic Moscow Babylon
Alla was the best looking girl at the private model show at Morris U. Snideman's 50th birthday party...
October 17, 2002 K-Y-19: The Hemorroidmaker Kino Korner
Rather than a long rant about one movie, I’m going to try to do my job here and stick to serving you, the reader...
October 2, 2002 eXile - 3, Whores - 0 Chess
Our agenda going into the third “eXile Plays the Whores" game was: No longer would we be satisfied with some ho that felt that it was her decision whether to play clothed or not.
October 2, 2002 A Big Fat Greek Lie Kino Korner
When I read that a film called MY BIG, FAT GREEK WEDDING was an indy hit in the US, I got suspicious: the title had all the irony of a high school play
 September 19, 2002 John O'Neill: An Unbelievable Life Feature Story
The 9/11 anniversary was almost impossible to live through. It made me thank God, or Russia, again, that I’m not living in America...
September 19, 2002 Insomnia My Ass Kino Korner
Here’s a little experiment. I’m writing a movie review on the film INSOMNIA after not having slept for over 24 hours.
September 6, 2002 Spielberg Needs A Stalker Kino Korner
Mark Ames reviews MINORITY REPORT, the new movie by Steven Spielberg.
August 23, 2002 Rememberances Of Bonghits Past Moscow Babylon
Much of my behavior over the past eight years has been driven by the belief that if I just accumulate enough good memories, somehow it will even things out with death...
August 23, 2002 X-Treme Movies Kapsulz Kino Korner
MANIC MARK’S MOVIE MADNESS! "THE SWEETEST THING"... "WHEN WE WERE SOLDIERS"...
July 25, 2002 Chicken McShitlets Moscow Babylon
The American press has uniformly glossed over what the Russian side says is root of the problem: American chickens are a hazard to human health.
June 28, 2002 Stories for the Waterboy Moscow Babylon
A respectable Russian businessman beats, shaves whore, ends up paying $30.000 in settlement.
June 28, 2002 Another 48 Negro Rush Hours Kino Korner
BAD COMPANY stars Anthony Hopkins and Chris Rock, which, I assumed, meant that Hopkins had grown tired of playing wimpy thespian roles, while Chris Rock, well hell, dat nigga’d take anything.
June 26, 2002 Don't Get A Life Moscow Babylon
Getting “A Life" can be hazardous to your health! If you have “A Life," you could be subject to horrific bouts of paranoia, insomnia, stomach cramps, and sexual impotence.
June 26, 2002 Off To Saratov Unfiled
Limonov's pending trial has been moved to Saratov by Russian Supreme Court last Friday.
May 16, 2002 Dyev Endurance Journalism Moscow Babylon
I got the idea for the dyev-endurance contest from Olya. We were together for the third day in one week. That’s a lot of time for me to spend with a female in such a short period. I want to repeat that: three (3) days in one (1) week with the same woman.
May 16, 2002 Holy Shit! Unfiled
The first thing airport security asked when we landed in Ben-Gurion Airport was, “Why did you decide to come to Israel? Don’t you know there’s a war here? Aren’t you afraid?"
 May 1, 2002 Cock Killer Feature Story
The CIS National League cock fight championship was supposed to be a major sporting event. Like so many things in Putin’s Russia, the truth was far less respectable, far less impressive and much gorier than the official version.
May 1, 2002 Steinhaeuser Uber Alles Moscow Babylon
You can’t help but admire Robert Steinhaeuser’s recent rampage. The guy just walked right up to the school murder rampage Olympics, leading the German Team to the High Score, blowing past Team American
May 1, 2002 Lebed's Swan Song Unfiled
On Sunday, presidential candidate and Krasnoyarsk governor General Alexander Lebed died in a helicopter accident that will undoubtedly keep all the local conspiracy-theorists gainfully employed.
April 5, 2002 Poking Russia From Behind Moscow Babylon
Last week, Sex Machine Jake Rudntisky and I took a road trip to Tver to make a fraudulent attempt to get to the bottom of it all....
April 5, 2002 Get Set To Suck Unfiled
Moscow's economy may be rocketing Westward on a sashimi-greased catapult, but its English-language expat press is continuing its degrading 3-year slide towards what can only be described as The Russia Journal....
March 21, 2002 Another Stripped Russian Asset Moscow Babylon
I met Lena at one of our advertiser's strip clubs (which I won't name to avoid this paper losing their services, and to protect Lena from getting a right good beating, which, frankly, she deserves)...
March 6, 2002 The Pankisi Whore Moscow Babylon
America is taking its War On Terrorism to Georgia, to hunt down Al Qaeda operatives who have supposedly holed up in a secluded shithole called The Pankisi Gorg...
February 20, 2002 The Art Of Disappointing Moscow Babylon
I’ve been disappointed by a lot of things lately. For example, crabs. I haven’t had a case of crabs in god knows how long. A clear sign that I’m not doing my job. Crabs have provided me with solid column material in the past...
February 20, 2002 Who Tolerates a Dissident? Unfiled
How dangerous is it to be a dissident in the post-Cold War era? Judging by the case of Edward Limonov, a lot more dangerous than being a dissident during the Cold War...
February 6, 2002 Der Neue Mcfaul Moscow Babylon
We’re at war. It’s a serious war this time. Which means that every pencil-necked American geek is scrambling to out-fascist the next squeaky chicken-hawk. The most difficult thing to stomach in all of this is watching all the frauds come out of the woodwo
January 24, 2002 Same Old Same Old Moscow Babylon
It’s a new year, and I’m beset with the same old Moscow problems: diarrhea and a sore penis. Readers of this column may have hoped that in a post-9/11 world, I might find a little range, break out of the old twin topics of bad sex and diarrhea in Moscow.
 January 24, 2002 Let’s Gloat! Feature Story
The United States armed forces just rolled over Afghanistan without so much as suffering a bruise. Hey, is America the baddest-assed imperial force in the world...or just the funniest?!
December 26, 2001 A Friedman-Friendly Moscow Moscow Babylon
After several months of absence, Mark Ames is back to Moscow, looking for changes as well as some pill experiences...
December 13, 2001 Everyhing Has Changed Letter from America
It happened so quietly and so suddenly that no one in America has yet officially recognized it. So you're gonna hear about it here first, in Moscow's Only Alternative...
November 29, 2001 Go Ride a Bathyscaph Unfiled
Now that we stomped the dust monkeys, our only casualty being that helicopter wheel that the Taliban danced around while firing their AKs in the air, I have to say, I’m damn glad I was behind President Bush from the get-go...
November 15, 2001 The Fatigue of Failure Letter from America
Wasted time, mounting fear and paranoia, dull and repetitive interior monologues... Mark Ames on what it means to be loser...
November 15, 2001 Time To Bury Chomsky Unfiled
Has Noam Chomsky devolved into a narrow-minded pampered old dolt? Mark Ames ponders the sad decline into bland irrelevance of the suppose foaming mouthpiece of America's radical left...
November 15, 2001 The Taliban Are Fags Book Review
In these troubled times of fear and ignorance, the only surefire way to keep from becoming the next victim of history is to be able to sound authoritative on the Afghan conflict and the Taliban. Mark Ames examines two books that can help by giving you jus
November 1, 2001 The Ames Strain Letter from America
While proving beyond the shadow of a doubt that George W. Bush works for the enemy, Mark Ames also manages to work in another complaint about his lost book deal and an unfair swipe at Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid..
October 4, 2001 America's New Whore Press Review
Mark Ames with hard-hitting analysis of the major slogans that our best and brightest in the private sector have cooked up to convey the enormity of our predicament...
October 4, 2001 DITHHHHHPATCHES Unfiled
This begins a new series of front-line battle dispatches in the tradition of Michael Herr and Daffy Duck, called “Dithhhhhpatches", from the eXile’s Pulitzer-vying war correspondent, Mark Ames...
September 20, 2001 Give Cowardice a Chance Letter from America
Mark Ames on the matter of cowardice and the blood-hungry Kentucky hicks in the context of recent events in the US...
September 7, 2001 Crouching Camel-Toe, Hidden Snapper Letter from America
Checking out the Asian ho scene in Louisville, Mark Ames rediscovers what it means to be 'hoh-nee' in the sexual wasteland of America...
August 23, 2001 I, Mark Ames, Goes Lesbian Yenta Letter from America
A 3-week stint as a Kentucky cubicle drone drives Ames to a horrifyingly dyke-friendly leftist stance...
August 10, 2001 Men Who Fight Back Letter from America
Mark Ames, from Kentucky, on nature of psychobitching in relation to Chandra Levi - Gary Condid story...
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headline
Dyev's Diary By Lyolya Androsova
blurb
Pourquoi L'Exile
Feature Story By eXile Staff
The time has come for the eXile to shake off its decrepit English-language shackles and appear in glorious French—just in time for Bastille Day! Editor Matt Taibbi and Special Guest Translator Thierry Marignac explain why...
Le nouvel ennemi
Unfiled By Kevin McElwee
The Sociopath examines the gradual transformation of the traditional American image of the average Frenchman from impossibly snobbish buffoon to an anti-market saboteur who is nothing short of the inheritor of the rank of the Soviet Union's as the United
La manière de
Sports Section
The Paris Bureau of the eXile Sports Desk looks into the recent "triumphs" of the French soccer team and the fate of "doping" at the Tour de France...
Razzia sur la shnouff
Kino Korner By Kevin McElwee
Krazy Kevin looks into the under-appreciated GoodFellas-influenced BLOW, while also finding a few spare moments to casually dismiss the idiotic MISS CONGENIALITY and ALONG CAME A SPIDER...
Liberté. Égalité. Opportunité.
Editorial
Forward-looking French businesses are primed and ready to storm the Bastille of the Russian market... just as their revolutionary counterparts did in Paris back in 1789......
Your Letters
[SIC!]
La Trique... Insult? Par Un Ane... Binoclard avec une collection de disques... Goyal sort du placard de napol?on... Retour de manivelle... Rarretelle... Connard monoglotte... Analphabete... Ivanise—vice... L’h?breu ex-sit?...
Cold Bullshit
Feature Story
The new Cold War smells like shit, tastes like shit, and, as our stool sample shows, makes us gag like shit...finally, proof that a billion flies are wrong.
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