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Vlad's Daily Gloat


The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sashas...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Shwarma Shuttle Expo This hopped-up "Kopeika" Lada shows off its rubber-burning power to an awed provincial audience...
May 11, 2008 in eXile TV

He Loves Me ... He Loves Me Not ... He Loves Me! Why does this woman wear her shiner...
May 1, 2008 in Face Control

Food Shortage: Is This America Or Ethiopia?
Vlad Kalashnikov ( Email ) on April 21, 2008


American bastards used to think they were so great saying that Russia is "Burkino Faso with the nuclear weapons."

Well, that was a clever put-down. But now, the cruel reality of Collapsing America has an even crueler put-down: according to a New York Sun article, Americans now threatened with food shortages and massive starvation:
Food Rationing Confronts Breadbasket of the World

BY JOSH GERSTEIN - Staff Reporter of the Sun
April 21, 2008

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — Many parts of America, long considered the breadbasket of the world, are now confronting a once unthinkable phenomenon: food rationing. Major retailers in New York, in areas of New England, and on the West Coast are limiting purchases of flour, rice, and cooking oil as demand outstrips supply. There are also anecdotal reports that some consumers are hoarding grain stocks.

At a Costco Warehouse in Mountain View, Calif., yesterday, shoppers grew frustrated and occasionally uttered expletives as they searched in vain for the large sacks of rice they usually buy.

"Where's the rice?" an engineer from Palo Alto, Calif., Yajun Liu, said. "You should be able to buy something like rice. This is ridiculous."

Spiking food prices have led to riots in recent weeks in Haiti, Indonesia, and several African nations.

Hey, dumbfuckers, you reading this? You are now in a category with Haiti, Indonesia, and "several African nations"! Thanks for making me laugh today. What is more funny than imagining the fattest gluttonous fuckers on a planet earth, Americans, having to live on food rations. Poor Haiti people, I can understand why they always are so poor, always have American putsches that put beasts into power in order to enrich sleazy American businessmen. I can understand Africans problems, they never had a chance after centuries of exploitation by American slave holders, and Western European colonialists. But what are your fucking excuses for needing food aid, Americans?

I can tell you why dumbfuckers about to starve to death: America can no longer steal everything from other countries--can't steal the world's oil, their gas, their food, because they elected a dumbfucker twice, who destroyed your mighty empire in just a few years. So now, days of stealing from other countries are over! You now stuck having to make your own goods, to produce your own wealth. What? You don't manufacture? You don't have a shit in your country that is worth anything? You only have the financial markets to trade (I mean "steal") other people's goods and commodities? Oh, so that why you collapsing like a shitty African country!

Won't be long before the collapse reveals the true America to the world, and everyone sees, America is nothing but a nation of plotting thieves, stealing oil and bribing people from around the world, including top Russian scientists, to come to America and keep the empire afloat. Well, the house of cards is collapsing, and all must now regret leaving to a failed empire.

Man, I thought it was almost getting boring watching America collapse. But the news today proved that it can be really fun watching the nation of savage retards digging they own graves. Every day, price of Russian oil soars to new high against pathetic collapsing U.S. dollar, every day, dumbshits Americans think that the war in Iraq is going great.

Now, you gluttonous pigs will learn how to diet, and it will be fun (and ecologically good for rest of the world) to watch you fat ugly fuckers get really skinny.

--Vlad Kalashnikov

See all: Vlad's Daily Gloat  


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscows Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywoods Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

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